


dignity

by mitzvahmelting



Series: peter & loki [2]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Gen, Mild Angst, Speculative, political idealism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitzvahmelting/pseuds/mitzvahmelting
Summary: “You were here first, I don’t want to interrupt you.”





	dignity

**Author's Note:**

> a birthday gift to myself
> 
> same universe as "peacetime" but much earlier in the chronology

“Hey, wait,” Peter calls out. It’s around ten in the morning, and his voice is still scratchy. He’s just entered the shared kitchen, and, not for the first time, he has found the dishwasher open, the clean load of dishes half-replaced back into the proper cabinets and drawers, and the shadow of someone disappearing around the corner and down the hall. The footsteps go silent, when Peter speaks. “You don’t have to go,” he explains, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “I know Tony must have told you to stay out of my way or something, but it’s fine. I know the deal, I can get used to it, I’m not gonna freak out or anything.”

Cautiously, a pale face peers around the corner. “You’re sure?” Loki asks, his voice steady and neutral. “It’s no bother, if you’d rather I go elsewhere.”

“I don’t mind,” Peter says. He gestures to the open dishwasher. “You were here first, I don’t want to interrupt you.”

“Alright, then,” and Loki steps back into the room.

It’s an awkward situation to be sure, but Peter just retrieves his Frosted Mini-Wheats from the cabinet. Wordlessly, Loki offers him a clean bowl and spoon still warm from the dishwasher, and Peter accepts it with muted thanks.

He pours milk and cereal into the bowl and stirs it thoughtfully, eyeing the once-God sorting cutlery into the proper cubbies. “They briefed me about your whole… situation… when I moved in. I’m surprised Tony would still tell you to avoid me… well, actually I’m not surprised at all. He gets protective.”

“It was the Captain, actually,” Loki clarifies softly. “You were but a child during the invasion of your city, and he suggested you might need some… time, to reconcile yourself to living under the same roof.”

“I read the records – the security memos suggested there were extenuating factors surrounding your role in the invasion.”

Loki glances at him, wearing a half-smile. “One can hardly be expected to weigh a mere security memo as heavily in the mind as the trauma of lived experience.”

Loki is dressed in soft-blue nurse scrubs and dark socks. The metal collar is thick around his throat – according to the records, the collar doesn’t block Loki’s magic, but it severely dampens it, and occasionally reroutes the magic to enforce discipline.

“You’ve been here for six years?”

Loki doesn’t turn to look at him, instead stacking the clean plates. “You’ve read the records,” he remarks mildly.

“I know,” Peter says, “it’s just hard to wrap my head around.”  His Mini-Wheats are getting soggy with milk. He takes a spoonful – six _years._ Almost a third of Peter’s entire life. “Has it been like this the whole time? I’m… I’m kind of surprised you’re here, and not in some dark cell somewhere.”

Loki shuts the empty dishwasher, and he turns to face Peter, hands clasped loosely behind him. “You’ve read the records,” he says again, “so you know how things were, the first year. I needn’t recount them.” There is only the barest hint of resentment in his expression.

There are videos, of course. Archived security footage of Loki’s cell, that first week after the Einherjar dropped him off. Feral and malnourished, Loki kept using his magic, shouting and screaming, demanding his release, insulting his jailors – and the collar kept burning him, worse and worse. On the other side of things, audio recordings of the arguments among the Avengers about how best to handle their unwanted prisoner. Should they let him rot away in his cell, as revenge? Should they attempt to calm him and treat his wounds? Should they acknowledge Thor, begging for mercy on his brother’s behalf?

Dr. Banner had been the one to suggest that they needed more information before they could render a just decision. The subsequent investigation into Loki’s history drew up more sympathy for the Mad God than anyone was comfortable admitting.

Extenuating circumstances. Not an excuse, but an explanation.

“Have _you_ read the records?” Peter asks.

Loki shrugs. “I was there,” he points out.

“It’s actually…” Peter says, pushing away his bowl and pulling up the countertop display with a tap of his fingers, “it’s actually pretty incredible. The whole thing was too top-secret for any impartial government oversight, but they… have you seen this? They drafted a resolution.”

At Peter’s invitation, Loki steps around the kitchen island to peek over Peter’s shoulder at the display. A memo from Dr. Banner appears, dated August 2014 and signed by all the founding Avengers, including Thor.

The memo reads like a formal declaration – Dr. Banner is no Thomas Jefferson, but the inelegance of the writing doesn’t undermine the sober tone and thorough details. They explain their opinion that the severity of Loki’s Asgardian sentencing was cruel and unusual; they agree with the duration and content (that Loki will work in service of the Avengers initiative and the wellbeing of humanity as reparations), but they balk at the intended methods of enforcement. The way the collar uses physical punishment to enforce obedience is completely contrary to the Avengers’ civic values. They may have gone along with it, were Loki’s crimes that heinous and evil, but the extenuating circumstances surrounding his role in the invasion and his personal history limit their thirst for outright revenge.

The resolution details how they will approach the execution of Loki’s sentence in a more restrained manner that upholds the dignity of all parties, then specifies that the resolution itself may only be altered by consensus among the Avengers.

“They decided to self-regulate,” Peter explains. “It’s… my friend MJ would say that it’s totally unrealistic to expect something like this from our political leaders, because usually they’re either too stupid to think of it, or too self-centered to acknowledge they hold too much power. But if anyone would do it, I guess it’d be the superheroes, huh?”

Loki’s head tilts, scrutinizing the text on the screen. “It is… interesting,” he admits. “I had assumed their change of heart was a personal favor to Thor. This is far more… academic.”

“Did it work?” Peter asks. “I mean, you didn’t seem like you were in a good place, in those videos. I thought you’d throw it back in their faces.”

Loki crosses his arms in front of himself. “I did,” he says. “I taunted them, manipulated them. The collar itself burned me, of course, but your mentors treated me with nothing but reluctant courtesy. It was… unsettling and wrong. Like I wasn’t being heard.”

“I know the feeling—”

“It was degrading,” Loki interrupts, voice harsh. His gaze is distant.

Peter shifts uncomfortably. He isn’t afraid, exactly, because even now Loki’s presence is subdued and controlled, but his stomach still twists in concern. “But you came out of it,” he tries to remind Loki, “with dignity.”

“Did I?” Loki’s smile is bitter. “Child, have you ever put your hand in water so hot it felt _cold?_ It is the same with humiliation; eventually you are so numb with it, that the ego simply becomes inured to the sensation of shame.”

Speechless, Peter stares at him. The countertop display times out, the words vanishing into the granite. Again, Peter notices the nurse scrubs that Loki wears, practical and impersonal. The same scrubs used in the medical facilities on the fourth floor, like someone put them on Loki six years ago and he’s been wearing them ever since because it doesn’t _matter._ “Oh,” says Peter, bemusedly.

“I have tasks to attend to,” Loki says after a moment, his voice gentle once more. “It was good to meet you, Mr. Parker. I wish you well in the rest of your day.”

He leaves the room, then, at a walking pace, and he doesn’t turn back to look when Peter says, “You too.”

The Mini-Wheats are total mush, now, and Peter’s lost his appetite. He dumps his breakfast down the garbage disposal, and then he washes the dish by hand.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment if you liked it  
> my tumblr is [here](http://mitzvahmelting.tumblr.com)


End file.
